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Posted by DieScheisse on September 4, 2004 at 09:26 PM | ich habe es Ihnen gesagt
i've always resented the term late bloomer. god, so corny. like i'm supposed to refer to myself as a flower now??
you see...

when i was in kindergarten, i was the one kid reluctant to climb in the sandbox or or get on the swings or play jump rope with the other kids.

they said, don't worry. she's just a late bloomer.
and i hated it because it wasn't true.

in the second grade i was the one kid who wouldn't pick a part in the school play, help with the props, or even attend the damn thing.

they said, don't worry. she's just a late bloomer.
and i hated it because it wasn't true.

in the sixth grade i was the one kid who said no to all the boys who wanted to be my "boyfriend", despite the fact that it was "the thing" to go out with anyone with a pulse that had the nerve to ask you.

they said, don't worry. she's just a late bloomer.
and i hated it because it just wasn't true, dammit.

and now....

well, i have to say i'm still waiting for the sun to shine.

...i just hope i don't wilt before i get to show the world my colors.
Posted by DieScheisse on September 4, 2004 at 06:23 PM | ich habe es Ihnen gesagt
how appropriate for 'a slice of life' to suggest a negative connotation.

only because everytime i read or hear it, the almost-bittersweet, almost-tangy metallic taste of steel slowly creeps up from the back of my throat all the way to the tip of tongue, making all my teeth cringe

and on my wrists appear the memory of that prickingbitingstinging little pinches of pain as a sharp new blade makes it way across immaculately smooth skin going right to left

and again, right to left

and again, right to left.

it leaves thin little trails of misery, randomly making its way down and around a now tainted arm, as if trying to lead you away from what you irrefutably know will be blinding agony for so and so time.

how sharp a word, slice, and how oh-so-fitting.

almost deliriously i wait for that moment when it will no longer remind me of an invisible edge, rather, to make me think of whatever seems to satisfy everyone else

or what makes them hide their misery seamlessly.

but as for now, how appropriate for that slice of life to cut through so indifferently.

so cleanly.

so expertly.
Posted by DieScheisse on August 29, 2004 at 02:06 PM | ich habe es Ihnen gesagt
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